I am very grateful for this episode. Yes, there are some important discussions about mental health and addiction. There was also an absolutely magical moment when Heather reviewed the pronunciation of “Godiva” to her daughter (she didn’tgo, diva,”Unfortunately for me). But what I am most grateful for is the almost absence of Mary Cosby. Sure, she comes for a second to dress up at a fashion show, and her community’s hard-earned money is leaking from her ravishing epaulettes. Besides? Basically nothing. It’s a real miracle what 43 minutes without wrinkling the whole body can do for chronic back pain.
Alas, we continue right where we left off at the inaugural Park City Fashion Week, where Brooks shows off his “line” of five identical black tracksuits. The play itself is anticlimactic. Brooks introduced a lederhosen version of the tracksuit, and Meredith crashed down the runway giving energy to the “youth pastor at Agent Provocateur’s sample sales”. Even the worst of only 30 percent is Ramon Singer, so I would call it a devastating success. Seth FaceTimes enters from Super 8 somewhere that sure smells like the Cuyahoga River, and then has the courage to ask Meredith and Brooks if they are abducted. Brooks is predictably upset that Seth didn’t demand play-by-play and showered him with praise. Seth’s eyes almost fell out of his head as he tells Brooks that the conversation is causing him anxiety and that he’s just sending a handwritten message because LTE coverage is bad in Ohio or something. Meredith feels partly responsible, which is somehow true because of the whole “you were looking for space” thing, but also not true because Seth is a grown man who has spent his entire career traveling and should be able to communicate with his children from afar at this point.
Bravo usually makes a windy internet vignette sometime after the first scene, and this week is no different. It’s a gift every time! Lisa advertises her hazy phallic bottles of tequila covered with crystals as a kosher delicacy. Brooks drinks grapefruit puree goo, half with a metal straw, while Vitamix is no more than 18 inches away in the ultimate display of privilege. And finally, Mary Cosby asks Robert Junior and his Gucci hat-hat why they came home late. Is there a context? Of course not! We can only imagine that 15 minutes before the air someone from Bravo realized that it was better for them to insert another Mary scene for contractual reasons, and this is the only footage that didn’t require drawing a family tree straight from George RR Martin.
In Beauty Lab + Laser, Whitney comes face to face and is completely dissociated as Heather solves things about divorce. After asking about Whitney’s father, Heather makes a very questionable comparison of his fight against addiction with her fight for a divorced marriage. They talk about how difficult it is to live under the judgment of the Mormon Church at all, especially as women. Heather further details the conflict she feels between social expectations, what she wants for her daughters, and what she wants as her person. Whitney assures her that she is a great mom and I would really like to rewind ahead through these conversations so we can watch Heather go to town with her flirtatious hint of all the hot and available men that Bravo can disturb in a three-story area. Hell, spin it on a date show! If boring ass Becca Kufrin can last the whole season Bachelor’s degree, can you even imagine what Heather would do with 30 thick pieces and an infinite pool of tequila soda?
Anyway, some exciting things are happening at Shah Chalet. No, it is not a diamond-encrusted step and repetition or initiation of the seventh assistant, but a great aid to the discourse on mental health. Jen picked up a breakfast plate after taking her anxiety / depression medication, discussing her journey to the confessional. We learn that after her father died, she was in a bad place and was afraid to turn to him for fear of looking weak. Although Sharrieff told her that she didn’t need medication, only prayers (uggghhhh, man, we cheered for you …), in the end her son Rafi jumped in and said that he loved her no matter what and that there was no reason for medication. shame of. Amen. If you need them, get them!
In other news about family bonding, Lisa would rather die than play Monopoly (I mean, the same), so they are preparing for a completely normal family night of writing their goals on billboards. Young Henry has big plans for a first kiss at 15, threesomes and meeting Malone. I can’t decide if it’s more interesting that Smooch has such incredible time specificity or that the most irresponsible goal here is Post Malone. Either way, older spawning Jack will pass the driver test, shred and become a LADYSLAYER. I don’t like that last thing, and besides being a bit worth a barf, it sure must be contrary to Mormon doctrine? John’s goals include taking the boys camping, coaching their sports teams, and listening without interruption. Or did he throw a thick pile of Vida Tequila cash into the editors or is John maybe a really good guy? To no one’s surprise, Lisa’s goals are to expand the business, move the ladder up, and say “no” when things don’t align, which she immediately recovers later that evening after her husband seems a little thrilled. Deprived of any form of auditory, visual, or physical attention, John shrinks back into his shell by next week.
Hoping to get more information about the “whore phase so everyone has a second when separated from their spouses”, Jen and Heather Butter Meredith are preparing a tour of Belvedere and ordering a meatball. Does not work. Her lips remain tightly pursed and every question about life socializing is met with immeasurable platitudinal stupidity. While this is great for Meredith’s therapist and media coach (so many shots about their portfolio!), It doesn’t quite make it for a gossip dinner on Andy Cohen’s money. Luckily for us, Jen hints that she knows there are some more stories there, and since she’s studying her book of manuals “How to Be a Real Housewife” seven hours a day, you already know that beans will spill posthasta.
In perhaps the last shot of a busy trampoline park in human history, Whitney and her father Steve take the kids on a little jump to get to know their grandfather a little better. It’s all okay (though a bit stressful, knowing that my guy’s hair may not be able to withstand so much twitching) until Steve starts talking about wanting to leave a sober life. He tells Whitney he’s stronger and clearer and he’s done the job and it’s time to “get this evil out and make some money.” She is understandably concerned that he wants to leave the program after only 21 days instead of the allotted 90 and tells him that he fears he will lose the progress he has made. It’s all so hard and I sincerely hope Whitney has her own support system because at least according to what we’ve seen she did a terrible job staying there for her father.
In Heather’s house, things also become vulnerable. While helping her eldest daughter Ashley make a poster inviting her boyfriend to a darling dance, the whole family talks very honestly about Heather’s imagined divorce feelings. That’s basically what we’ve already heard, and her three daughters are damn reassuring, telling her how much she’s taught them about choosing their own paths and not blindly adjusting, as well as how they support each other no matter what makes them happy . They don’t say it explicitly, but all the signs indicate that Heather and her girlfriends mutually decided to leave the Mormon church?!?! At this point, is there anyone in this show all-in, one hundred percent Mormon? Have they ever been? What are Lisa’s thoughts on this? In fact, a scratch – the world doesn’t need a second of moralizing from someone who eats Wendy’s, Sonic and Taco Bell in the same meal. But maybe as a compromise we can throw out the voluminous temple recordings and haunted choral music? At least until they set up some Mormon IG influencer next season?
Finally, Jen stops by Whitney’s house to play on a pole and gossips about Meredith. While Whitney shows off some basic moves, Jen reports that while she may not “get a dick” so often, she’s perfectly fine because she has a Hitachi magic wand. Oh yes, and just as she craves attention and will look for her somewhere else when she doesn’t have enough, Meredith is also hanging around outside the house. In another doomed confessional look that is somewhere at the intersection of Marilyn Monroe and SpongeBob driving instructor SquarePants, Whitney pretends to be shocked and says Jen should be able to support these allegations. Do not worry! Jen was in New York at Meredith’s trunk show, where there was a gentleman who declared that Meredith was the love of his life and that he would marry her before he “made sure he climbed up”.
Happy Holidays and see you next week to explore how Meredith’s Botox is holding up in the face of these dirty rumors!