Made for love
I want you to give me a F *** about me
Photo: JOHN P JOHNSON / HBO Max
Byron decided he had to prepare to meet Hazel where she lives: the real world. This is an interesting twist because, while Hazel was locked up in a hub, Byron never left, just because he never wanted to – or, as we learn, because he was completely incapable of functioning in society. All Hazel hated about Hub is what Byron likes about him: everything is frictionless and odorless, temperature controlled, sterile. I am very curious about the circumstances that led to him literally never leaving his enclave, especially in his early years. Was the last time he was out and about the day he saw Hazel on that campus?
So, Byron participates in a Hazel simulation on the beach. It’s intriguing to me that the Simulation Hazel wears a color (blue!), But it’s still somehow muted, blue, very close to neutral – practically gray, really. She has heels too. On the beach. All right. The Hazel simulation has this perfect weird computer voice, almost like Syria, but not quite. Byron, as if reciting from a screenplay, tells her he learned a lesson: “I don’t want to control you. I want to connect with you. The really you. “It gives her what I thought was flavorball, but I later find out it’s a donut hole. Or is it a delicious donut-flavored ball? Suddenly, Simulation Hazel breaks off her shorts and Bennett is called. Is there something wrong with the algorithm?” !!
Byron explains to Bennett that the reason he didn’t plant the connection chip after all is that he wants what Hazel wants. (Bennett: “Divorce?”) No, Bennett: authenticity! The problem with the Hazel Simulation is that it is FALSE. Just like Hub Hazel! Byron increased Bennett’s simulation to level ten, maximizing real-world versions. Hilarious, Byron canno keep it together while dealing with the daily and utterly annoying distractions of a day at the beach: other people hitting sand and volleyball at their picnic, their dog breaking up and eating holes in donuts.
Real Hazel wakes up tied to a wheelchair. Fiff (who I call Fiff, not Fiffany because nothing I do can get a car fix to stop changing Fiffany to Tiffany, so I give up !!) and Lyle are excited that Hazel no actually dead because that means Byron had to reconsider the merger. They have five minutes to pull out the chip, but – a twist! – Hazel says she changed her mind. Also, she doesn’t really trust any of them, because they didn’t help her at all while she was a hostage for ten years “and she was forced to perform a orgasm in front of the camera every morning.” (Lyle: “My fingers rot in the fridge.”)
Hazel enters Fiff’s head, telling Fiff she’s just like Byron. Lyle says I can just keep Hazel and put her to sleep, but Fiff has changed his mind too. It’s not the kind of person she wants to be! He frees Hazel. (I love the sound of helpless little Cristin Milioti because she can’t unbuckle her belt.) They leave her in the desert so Byron won’t see them when he gets back on the net. How should Hazel get home? That’s the problem for the second part of the episode!
Meanwhile, Fiff gives Lyle an envelope with cash to cover the hotel stay. Fiff doesn’t know what’s next for her, she just has to move on without Byron or Ignacio. She says she is returning to Hub to make sure Zelda’s transfer is complete and then resigns. In my notes I write, hmmm it’s probably not smart for her to go back to the hub, it doesn’t seem safe, it’s a prison, she’s just running towards the Fiff hills !! But since we haven’t merged, Fiff can’t hear my thoughts. Anyway, he punches Lyle in the face to get out of the van, and she drives to the hub where – as I expected! – Byron doesn’t actually accept her resignation, but sends her to the pasture.
Hazel somehow gets home, but she needs it forever. He runs into Dad and Diane, who are fast asleep, and loses the shit. Wasn’t he worried about her ?! He left it at the bowling alley 13 hours ago. I have to say that the rest of the Hazel stuff in this episode seems like everyone is saying the subtext out loud when it could be better expressed through the story – plus, these are never things that people in families actually actually tell each other. Like, can you imagine a real person saying, “This is just like when I was a kid. You never fucked up for me … I did always was an afterthought for you. “People never just pose and thus articulate the central theme of their lives!
Herb points out that Hazel is not ten years old, so what time is it? Hazel says he checked out as soon as her mom died, and he’s all over, “Oh, my life has to revolve around you just because you came back?” Hazel switches to: You treat the doll better than you have ever treated me. To underline this point, she attacks Diane, and Herb pushes Hazel to protect the doll. Again, Hazel cites one of the key themes of our program, and that is: What kind of person is willing to run away forever with a sociopath? “Girls with shitty fathers.”
In the morning, Herb introduces Hazel (smartly, I must say) to the nun who is also outside the system. Hazel talks to the nun through an impromptu confessional wall so Hazel can’t see her face, which means Byron can’t see her face either. Smart! She also gives Hazel a fake name, and that’s … Judiff. Like Fiffany. I LOSE HIM.
You see, Judiff and Herb used to be. Judiff thought Diane was a real person, but, as you might expect, she sniffs around the house and discovers that’s not the case. She’s actually very nice considering they kicked her out for the mannequin. Judiff’s whole thing was “a bulldog who likes to bury his teeth in the ankles of corruption” (Hazel: “Cool”) who became a nun to infiltrate the church and expose her crimes, and those are roughly the kind of crimes expect them to be (tax evasion, abuse), which are technically already exposed to more traditional means (e.g. journalism, whistleblowers), but good for you, Judiff.
Hazel explains his situation. Judiff doesn’t even know who Byron is, but she knows what Hazel did was abuse. “He robbed you of your loneliness.” Hazel becomes very emotionally worried about how Byron will ruin Judiff’s life, but Judiff is not worried about it. He gets Hazel’s permission to act on her behalf and says he won’t talk or see until this is over. Hazel will just have to believe. In the meantime, Judiff says, do whatever you want. “If he wants to watch your every move, it doesn’t make him powerful, it makes him miserable.” I like this perspective!
Hazel doesn’t even know what her life would look like if she could only do what she wants outside of the Hub. Herb asks what she used to do for fun at the time, and Hazel takes six packages to the cemetery. (That’s what I think about it all feeling kind of obvious. Drinking by the grave is like going to a movie and a TV show! How often is that in real life, I wonder?) But it turned out that the city wanted to make space for nicer graves so they paid to have some bodies moved, and Herb needed money. So Hazel and Dad have another remarkable conversation with the characters on the TV show – “I wasn’t there for you and I know it won’t always be. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. ”- and opened a little beer over Scooby“ Dirtdog ”boy Martinez, who died doing what he loved: wetting his dick.
Meanwhile, on a fantasy beach, Byron decides, after he has completely melted away because he was jumped by simulation volleyball exactly one (1) time, that he is ready to GO TO THE WORLD. Someone is watching Byron as he gets his first parking ticket. Judiff is already at work? Lyle? Some third person I haven’t thought about yet? We’ll find out when the last two episodes fall next week!