I laughed at the memory of Chief Zebrudaye Okoroigwe Nwogbo alias 4:30 and a proverb came to mind: “If death strikes a dead, slow-moving chameleon by reckless abandonment, why not extinguish a jumping frog with an instant automatic move? Tell me!”
The boss of Zebruday, the patriarch of Nigeria’s funniest English sitcom, New Masquerade, didn’t emphasize the proverb written above, it’s my unprofessional creation.
If he verbally uttered a proverb, Zebby, as his beautiful wife Ovularia affectionately calls him, would shoot the audience with his bomb attack, while the funniest clowns in clown history, Giringory Akabogu and Clarus, would break out of the kitchen dragging an empty pot of soup between them and arguing about who owns Nigeria, cows or citizens.
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In relation to the Nigerian political context, the images of chameleons in the first paragraph are symbolic of the June 12, 1993 presidential election, which was won by the late MCO chief Abiola, but truncated by the northern oligarchy in collusion with several greedy associates from other countries. parts of the country.
In contrast, I typify the presidential ambition of the national leader of the Congress of All Progressives, Asiwaju Bol Tinubu, with a ‘jumping’ frog, patiently awaited by the same oligarchy that killed the dream of the MCO, along with its associates.
Please do not misinterpret. Asiwaju enjoys the rights under the Nigerian constitution to run for any political seat in the country. But something is morally wrong if Tinubu – without publicly apologizing for the deadly presidential ambition of 2015 that he processed and sold to Nigerians – prepares to succeed General Katsin whose irregularity stranded Nigeria.
I wonder what Tinubu’s motto would be in the 2023 presidential election. Would that be, “BAT: Consolidating Sai Baba’s Infamous Years?” or “Vote for Jagaban to correct the catastrophic years of the APC?” or “Asiwaju: Leave the story, jeun soke.”
Seriously, moaning and laughing are weird beds. But when they work hand in hand, Yoruba would say, “Oro buruku tohun terin.” Sometimes nature could be as naughty as the proverbial case of Ibiye, whose goat was blind to the left eye, while Ibiye was blind to the right.
The current situation in Nigeria is undoubtedly tragic. What looks Nigeria in the face is not funny at all. But in our tragic refuge, the mind must occasionally escape to laughter, otherwise morgues and asylums will thrive.
While it is obvious that Nigeria should declare a national state of emergency in critical aspects of the economy, the regime of Major General Muhammad Bukhari (withdrawn) is completely unaware of stopping the craze in the abyss.
The green-white-green ‘abiku’ grabbed the sacrificial pot at the crossroads and smashed it on the bald head of the tall and bony grass. An old soldier called in to help kill a wandering hyena on agricultural land ended up in the belly of a beast.
Unfortunately, the Nigerian trouble is similar to the case of Senegal-born French midfielder Jean-Pierre Adams who underwent surgery for a knee injury in 1982 but did not come out of a coma for 39 years due to the negligence of the surgeon who performed the operation.
For the unfortunate Adams, his surgeon carved his way to the eternal dungeon, just as the Nigerian messiah Bukhari broke the vows of hope he gave to the people in 2015 and 2019, making the country worse than he had ever met.
Shortly before he became president, Bukhari, during his famous Chatham House speech in England in 2015, called on Nigeria to choose either to vote for the continuity of failure or progressive change.
At Chatham House, Bukhari thundered: “Unfortunately, Boko Haram has put Nigeria on the map of terrorism, killing more than 13,000 of our people … What was constantly missing was the required leadership in our fight against the insurgency …”
Then he told a big lie, “If I am elected president, the world will have no reason to worry about Nigeria … Not an inch of Nigeria will ever be lost from the enemy, because we will pay special attention to the welfare of our soldiers in and out of work.”
“WE WILL ALWAYS ACT ON TIME (I emphasize mine) and we will not allow IRRESPONSIBLE manure. I, Muhammad Bukhari, will always lead from the front. ”
Today, Bukhari, who has promised to “lead from the front,” is on the outskirts of Oyinbo on “routine” medical check-up when doctors from his country go on strike and his kingdom is lost due to insecurity.
If Bukhari’s trip was indeed routine, why didn’t he show sympathy for the sick Nigerian masses who can’t afford to waste taxpayers ’money on frivolous medical trips abroad, commenting on the strike and giving people hope?
If the head injury, which Yusuf, his son, sustained in a lone motorcycle race, had occurred on the day of his departure for England, would Bukhari have traveled without his son?
Bukhari and his co-political adventurers have deceived Nigerians twice. When the thunderbolts plowed six years ago, the masses hurriedly emptied the earthen pots expecting fresh rainwater. Now the thunder stopped without a raindrop.
More than half of the land has been deceived. Gauntness has been replaced by a lack of greed. The stony eyes were mistaken for a penetrating focus on integrity. Now everything was blowing in the sky.
How did we not know that this messiah had his children in schools abroad? How did we ever think he was a part of us? How did we not know that he would not be able to publicly disclose his property? How did we not know that Goodluck Jonathan was just shoeless and ignorant, but Bukhari was sightless and listless? How did we not know that Messiah Bukhari would turn the presidential fleet of planes into playrooms for his daughter to jump into a photoshoot?
During the government of St. Bukhari, corruption left its posh house in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation and built a mansion within the Economic and Financial Crime Commission, casting milk teeth from the Jonathan years for canines, premolars and molars from the Buhari year.
People from my country, I repeat, crying and laughing are weird beds. When they work hand in hand, Yoruba would say, “Oro buruku tohun terin.”
Since our president has left us to our fate, we must not wait with sadness for the death dealers who kill every day. I mean, let’s have fun before the kidnappers storm; let’s share the laughter before the herders come to rape, maim, kill, and in return receive a reward.
In Bukhara alone, police would arrest a trader who was attacked in Abuja by the presiding judge of the Code of Conduct Court, Danladi Umar. Only in the country of Bukhara, Super Eagles coach Gernot Rohr would omit players who score goals in first-class leagues and invite players without teams to matches.
Ethnically and religiously, Bukhari has polarized the country, otherwise the kind of heavy fine imposed on the pastor of the ‘wrong scientist’ in the periphery of Oyinbu should be awarded to all leaders who deceive Nigerians into believing COVID is unreal, sending many to their graves.
It is only in Bukhari’s Nigeria that corruption files charges against integrity. Madness, please give us a break.
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